This is probably the longest that I have been away from the blog since it started. It really wasn't on purpose, life just took over.
I've had some reflection time during the last week even if I haven't had time to write it down and I've even written some blog posts in my head, but again they just didn't make to my computer screen.
This past week has been tough. Add that to the experiment over the long weekend and its been a rough 10 days.
I think there are a lot of factors at play including, but not limited to: Stress, time, hormones, boredom (of doing and eating the same stuff). Today and this past weekend I was just ridiculously busy. I'm really not one of those people who complains how busy I am, anyone who knows me knows that my regular life is busier than most people, so trust me when I say I'm busy, I'm really busy, talking worked 15 hours this weekend last minute and not 8-5 hours either.
Now is the time that I need to figure out where to go next.
I know that I am enjoying the weight that I have lost. The problem is getting the motivation to get to the next step. I can be easy to get lost in the compliments and the good feeling about a smaller size and new clothes and forget that I am still 80lbs overweight and I have a long weigh to go. I don't know if there is harm in taking a break before I keep going, but do worry that if I'm not continuously strict that I am going to slip and have more than the occasional treat or day without tracking.
The same time as easy as it is to count calories and as effective as I have gotten at burning 500 calories at the gym in a short period of time, this is really hard work both mentally and physically and I think my body or my brain or both has fighting back for the last little while with both cravings and frustrated feelings about how hard this can be and how strict I have to be.
I still am making 80% good choices especially breakfast and lunch which I have down pat. Dinner is not bad, but snacks can creep up on me pretty quickly and I need to reign in on them.
I do want to go back to tracking, but when I stopped working at 11pm and that was only because I wanted to write this and go to bed it does seem to get put on the bottom of the priority list.
I don't really know what to do. I'm not giving up, but I have always been honest in my writing and I'm not going to stop now just because its hard and I'm confused.
The reality is that I'm not going to solve these problems tonight and I need to go to sleep. Tomorrow is another day and hopefully a trip to the gym.