Clutter

I was very particular when I was looking for a image for this blog. I was worried that if the photo looked too real people may think that it was a personal photo from home.

I have taken 3 days off of work to try and declutter my home. The clutter in my house is not very obvious, on days when my house is clean, nothing looks out of place and floors and surfaces are empty. My clutter comes in a more hidden form. This spring I went out and purchased my daughter a new spring coat because well it is spring and this is what I do every spring. I like her to look cute and a cute little spring jacket is what I do every year. So today when I was organizing some stuff in the basement I realized that we have 3 spring jackets in her exact size that were given to us by various family members who have older girls. So this discovery posed 2 important questions. #1 If there were already 3 coats at home why did I buy her a new one and #2 If I was planning to buy a new one why did I hold on to 3 other ones in the exact same size.

This discovery made me start to think why we hold on to things that we have no intention of using. Interestingly I have a bunch of diet books upstairs in my cupboard which I have no intention of ever using (because they didn't work or were too extreme). These include, but are not limited to Atkins, Fat Flush, Emotional Eating, Personality Diet.

From there I started thinking about other areas that I allow clutter and the impact that this has on my life. The clutter of personal belongings impacts me day to day because it affects how streamlined my day is and how easy it is to find things when I need them, also if I feel I should be making use of them and I'm not (thinking gym equipment) then its a constant guilty reminder of what I'm not doing.

I've started to think about clutter as more than just removing excess from my house. I am not thinking of it as removing excess from my life. 

So now lets look at weight from the lens of my clutter theory. Its not something I plan on using ( I don't need it to stay warm in the winter) so why do I hang on to it. Many may think that remaining fat is not a conscious choice, but we need to be honest in that loosing weight is as much psychological as it is about caloric intake and exercise. I didn't need my social work degree to figure that out, but when I look at myself as someone else and I think about what I would say them in a therapeutic setting this would be the conversation that I would have with them.

There was a moment earlier this week where I had an event that resulted surge of adrenaline and stress all at the same time. Earlier that day I had stopped for coffee and despite wanting a donut (they make the best apple fritters at this place, its not Tim Hortons) I was able to walk about. Later that same day only minutes after this event I found myself in Tim Hortons trying to convince myself that I was just here to get a coffee, but ended up walking out with said donut and not even the really good one that I wanted earlier that day.

Same situation, even less tempting in nature and yet I was not able to resist. The reason was all in my head. 

I realize more and more that I need to stop treating this like a simple math equation and that while clean eating principles and weight watchers points are extremely helpful in guiding what I should eat, they aren't the whole equation. I also need to start to declutter my thought processes and the self talk that isn't doing me any good and that I don't plan to use.

So if anyone has interest in some slightly used, but still in good condition, self talk and self sabotaging thoughts let me know because mine are available - I'm thinking about putting them on Craig's list.