The last week has been with out a doubt a real struggle for me. I’ve found myself slipping back into old habits and figuring out ways to justify my behavior. Why? I thought about this for a bit and the answer came to me today during a conversation with my husband.
We were text messaging each other and he said that he felt back that because we had made a commitment to save money he had not purchased me anything lavish for Valentine’s day. I corrected him and said that he I had bought him a cruise for Valentine’s day. This definitely lighted the mood as he replied “what a coincidence I bought you a cruise too”. My next comment was were the light bulb clicked on. I advised him that the cruise really is our gift to each other, its just delayed gratification.
A few hours later I was driving into town on my lunch hour to run a few errands. I was hungry and was approving what I like to call Drive-thru alley. It is a row of every fast food place known to man in a line down the street. In my head I started the rationalization; the conversation went something like this:
- I only had a granola bar for and two clementines for breakfast
- I can start trying tomorrow
- If I get a happy meal its not that bad
- I can eat a small dinner
Then I started to think about the discussion that I had with Scott about delayed gratification. If I can forgo a dinner out or flowers for a cruise why can’t I forgo a Happy Meal for a better body? I didn’t have a very good answer to that question.
So I skipped Walmart (where there is conveniently a McDonalds inside) and went to the grocery store across the street. I picked up the few items that I had come into town for and I grabbed a red pepper, bananas, clementines, weight watchers pita, and some low fat hummus to eat for lunch.
I know that I have lost some of my accountability as I have stopped posting what I eat as well as photos. Lets be honest, I have not wanted to post some of my choices, like said happy meal or wine etc. That ends now. I am returning to posting all of my food choices as well as photos of anything exciting.
I am not going to succumb to instant gratification b/c the problem with instant is that while it is quick it is not lasting and I want something that is going to last.
Happy Valentines Day