Unfortunately the last 48 hours have been struggle starting with my weigh in on Thursday. I celebrated that I was down again, but it was only just over half a pound and my frustration continued about my incredibly slow weight loss, despite all of my food and activity efforts.
What followed was a slow and steady decline which has led to my blog this am. I did not write Thursday or Friday. I did not intend to stop blogging, but one thing led to another and I didn't do it. I also felt my food choices slipping though the last 2 days.
I did not decide to wage war on my diet or on healthy eating, but I did feel that making the right choices was a bit of struggle. It felt like what's the point? The result, mostly good choices with a few that were controlled, but my best effort.
This morning I got up and my husband suggested that we take the kids to the market. This activity, while on the surface a healthy activity, ultimately led to this morning's demise. I did not eat breakfast, I was starving and walking around a market place, that while full to healthy nutritious food, was lacking in things healthy and ready to eat. What I was surrounded by were free samples of toffee, caramel popcorn, cheese and even more items for sale; cupcakes, cookies, candy. I held on to my strength purchased the items that I came for, but then another voice took over and stated the following "Let's go grab breakfast".
I actually feel a bit sick as I write this because know what I ate was not good for me and it does make me feel good. Yes I chose whole wheat bread and ham over bacon, but I still ate eggs which were likely (definitely) cooked in grease and home fries and butter on my toast. I actually took a picture and was going to post it on my blog as part of my confession, but honestly I don't want to look at the food.
So time to crawl back up on the wagon. I don't want one greasy breakfast to be my downfall which is why the first thing I did when I got home was turn on the computer to write. I feel in some ways this blog is the equivalent to attending a 12 step meeting. Hi my name is Dawn and I made a bad choice.
What am I going to do now. I'm going to spend the day with my kids, pick up more healthy food at the grocery store and keep going because I have to.