Twas the night before weigh in , when all through the house
Not a morsel was eaten, not even by a mouse
The scale was sitting on the bathroom floor with care,
In hopes that a smaller number soon would be there.
The food was nestled, all snug in the fridge,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in my head
And Scott with his snack and me with my carrot
Had just settled our brains to watch a funny show.
When down in the tv room there arose such a clatter,
Scott sprang from the couch to see what was the matter.
Away to the kitchen he flew like a flash,
Turned on the light and threw open the fridge.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen food
Gave the lustre of mid-day to cakes and cookies below.
When, what to his wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature cake, and eight tiny cookies.
With a sneaky eater, so lively and quick,
He knew in a moment it must be me.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!
"Now cookies! now, cakes! now, chips and Ice Cream!
On, soda! On, pizza! on, on chocolate and candy!
To the back of the fridge! to the top of the cupboard!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the cupboards the coursers they flew,
With the plate full of fat grams, and calories too.
And then, in a twinkling, he heard downstairs
The crinkling and pawing of each little wrapper.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the staircase my husband came with a bound.
He was dressed all in pjs, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with crumbs and loot.
A bundle of snack food I had flung on MY back,
And i looked like a baker, just opening his pack.
The cakes how they twinkled! the icing how merry!
The fondant roses and the candied cherry!
The boxes of chocolate tied up with a bow,
And the icing sugar was as white as the snow.
The twinkie i held tightly in my teeth,
And the smell it encircled my head like a wreath.
He told me if I ate I would have a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook when I laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!
He said "do you want to be chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,"
And I laughed when I heard him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And took all my treats, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the staircase he rose!
He sprang to the fridge, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he walked out of sight,
"Happy weigh in to all and to all, and to all a good-night!"